Why My Late ADHD and Autism Diagnoses Have Made Me a Better Therapist

Over the past year, I have received two life-changing diagnoses.

At the age of 63, I was diagnosed with ADHD. More recently, at the age of 64, I was diagnosed as autistic.

People often ask whether this has changed me.

The answer is no.

It has changed my understanding of myself.

Like many adults who are diagnosed later in life, I spent years adapting to the world around me, often without realising how much energy masking, compensating and simply trying to "fit in" could take.

Receiving these diagnoses has not altered who I am, but it has given me a deeper appreciation of the many ways human minds work. It has also reinforced something I have believed throughout my career: there is no such thing as a "right" way to experience the world.

As a therapist, I know that every client arrives with a unique story. Labels are not the person, and they never tell the whole story. Yet understanding ourselves can be profoundly liberating. When we begin to understand why we think, feel or respond in particular ways, self-criticism often gives way to self-compassion.

That is where meaningful therapeutic work begins.

My own experience has deepened my appreciation of the courage it takes to seek answers, especially for adults who have spent decades believing they were simply "too much", "too sensitive" or somehow getting life wrong.

Many of the people I work with are navigating anxiety, shame, burnout, relationship difficulties, identity, trauma or the emotional impact of discovering they are neurodivergent later in life. Whether someone has a diagnosis or not, my aim is never to reduce them to a label. My role is to provide a space where they can explore their experiences without judgement and develop a kinder, more compassionate relationship with themselves.

Late diagnosis has reminded me that understanding ourselves is not about finding excuses.

It is about finding clarity.

And clarity creates choice.

As both a therapist and someone with lived experience of late-diagnosed neurodivergence, I feel privileged to support others as they make sense of their own stories. My hope is always the same: that clients leave therapy understanding themselves a little better than when they arrived.

This personal journey has also inspired my forthcoming book, One Foot on the Accelerator and One Foot on the Brake, in which I reflect on discovering ADHD and autism later in life with honesty, warmth and humour.

If you are considering therapy—whether you are questioning neurodivergence, adjusting to a recent diagnosis, or simply trying to make sense of your life—you are very welcome to get in touch.

Understanding ourselves is rarely the end of the journey. More often, it is where healing begins.

— Debra Kurs
Pluralistic Therapist | LGBTQIA+ Affirmative | Neurodiversity Affirming